


Ties that hold me

by Demondogweed



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Forced Prostitution, Human Cole, Other, Spirit Cole, forceful binding, lack of consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 21:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3825292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demondogweed/pseuds/Demondogweed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She chose for me, to be pure. To be a spirit again. I was free, floating, nothing touching me. Those acts I once did now forgotten. And it was good.</p><p>--</p><p>It was not safe, a spell and binding. I did not know. </p><p>-----------------------------------------------------</p><p>An one-shot about finding humanity once more in the direst of moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ties that hold me

She chose for me, to be pure. To be a spirit again. I was free, floating, nothing touching me. Those acts I once did now forgotten. And it was good.  
  
The amulet protected me when we faced the man who thought he could become a god. She cared so much for me, to let me join her in combat.  
  
And her wants, oh she wanted me. Wanted to celebrate our victory with me.   
  
She had made a collar for me, she wanted to be in control. She was safe, my amulet removed with my clothes.  
  
It was not safe, a spell and binding I did not know. Could not read past her anchor. A collar and a leash, tied to a wall like a dog. She told me that I was hers now, hers to do as she wanted.   
  
Obey, do as she tells me. I do, she wants. She still wants me. But its sharp, spiked and rough. Sandpaper on my being. Tells me to not forget my new purpose. I'm hers, a toy and and an experiment.   
  
I cannot slip through the loops in the Fade, I cannot forget. I don't need sleep or food, so she leaves me there. So many hurts to help, but I'm stuck, tied.  
  
The moons pass, yet I stay as her toy. I cannot cry for Pride for aid, he has left. All of them, gone to their own directions. Her stomach gets bigger, then one moon its gone. Success, she says. Her experiment worked.  
  
It is mockery, I know her game now. I cannot forget and so I grow in disgust. Used, and she says there will be more to come. How many more?   
  
An old feeling invites me to itself, in the darkness. Desire, want. I have forgotten what it was, but it pushes itself back. Want, I want. Not her demon desire, not her games.  
  
I want out, away, to safety. But what is safety? I've forgotten it, but it isn't here.   
  
It isn't in this collar, tied to a wall. But I'm bound, tied. A spirit cannot say no to it.  
  
There are more, not just her, but I cannot fight them. She watches as they use me, not all of them seeking what she did. And soon, not all of them women.   
  
She cleans me afterwards, tells me how good a boy I am. It lights a fire in me, fire of rage.   
  
I'm pulled back now, with the rage and desire in me. No, I am not pulled, I am the one pulling. It becomes heavy, but I know what it is now. I have not forgotten how it felt, and I pull it into my bones. Pull the blood into my veins, where it boils.   
  
It is not fast, I remember fast making me forget. She wanted me to remember, and who am I to deny her? I become heavy, heavier. The hurts I have not helped grow fainter. But I grow realer. Until I am real again.  
  
I'm in filth, sitting in a dark room. Collared to a wall, like her pet. But she forgot who I was, what I could be.  
  
Spirits have to obey, be nice to their binders. But humans? They can say no. And I say no, tearing the collar off with my fingers.  
  
My heart beats my chest, my breath stills as I watch it on the floor. All these moons, it felt like a chain of metal. It was only cloth, the finest of silks.  I could have torn it off long ago, but I couldn't.  
  
I cannot help myself as I yell my rage, my frustration. It feels good to do so finally. And then, gag from disgust. The spirit I was could be distant about it, but I'm not it anymore. My child, is he or she all right? What of those the others had? These thoughts race in my head as I get up.  I thank the Maker as I feel my muscles still holding their old strength. I kick the collar, petty thing to do, but right now I'm feeling very petty. Once I've gotten my meaningless revenge on a silk cloth, I take the leash off the wall. I need it to get out.  
  
But as I hold it, I feel my stomach lurch again. My powers are still there, though faint as a whisper. I can feel my own hurt in it, so strong was it. I make sure to pull myself stronger to reality again, though the how's are starting to fade in my mind. I tell myself I am Cole, and that I was hurt. That I need to get out and that I need help.  
  
I look for anything to cover myself in, finding only a bedcloth. I don't know why, but I laugh at the idea of wearing it. But its better than being bare, clothes make humans. A memory of Dorian wearing his clothes gives me an idea.  
  
Or,well,two. I have not forgotten him, so he is my goal now. I tie and tear the cloth so it serves as clothes. I can steal new ones once I'm out.  
  
The door is going to be a challenge. I'm not sure where I am anymore. Am I in a room next to hers? Am I locked in? I try it, very very carefully. It opens, into a storage room. I give a small sigh of relief, heading out.  
  
I run, hiding from the guards, hiding from -her-. Tevinter, there I can find Dorian. I repeat the words to myself as I run, as I hide where I can.  
  
And then I find a map, and I feel like a complete idiot. Tevinter is a bit far to go to on foot. I briefly wonder if I could pretend to be a slave, but the thought of being tied and collared -again- settles it. I need a new plan, and I need to actually plan it this time.  
  
I have forgotten a lot about myself, from when I was stuck in the middle of human and spirit. So I start learning, the best I can. Humans need to work for keep, so I start helping where I can. I watch and listen, wincing at every Inquisition soldier I see. But they don't know me, and I don't think they can. I am a human now, and I can cut my hair or grow a beard to hide better.  
  
Somehow, and I swear to the Maker I didn't intend to, I end up serving at a bar in Redcliff. I have a good balance, and I'm fast. But just as I am bringing another customer the typical ale, I see -him-. Dorian, and he looks at me.   
"Cole! What on earth are you doing here?" he asks, smiling at me. I have to lean on the table to not fall over. The barkeep yells at me for it. I ask Dorian to meet me later, but he doesn't take no for an answer. He wants to speak to me -now-. He even pays the barkeep so I can have the afternoon free.  
  
And so, in his room in the inn, I tell him. Of the Inquisitor, of the months in the collar. Of how I escaped. I have to stop to cry few times before I can continue. And he listens, he comforts me. I'm safe, finally.  
"Cole, I..I don't know what to say" he mutters, as I lean on him.  
"She is EVIL, Dorian. Fucking nuts,too. And she has my kid" I tell him, and he looks amused.  
"And she apparently made you start cursing, you poor thing" he says.   
"I didn't, before?" I ask, and when he looks confused, I tell him I made myself forget. Dorian looks sad, but he start telling me of how I was when he knew me. It hurts to know I forgot all of that, and for such a shitty price.  
"So, what is your plan now? You can't just go to her and ask her to give your child back, you know" Dorian says, I nod.  
"I know. I didn't think when I ran, I just wanted to get out of there. I just wanted to find you, so I could be safe" I admit.  
"You might have been better searching for Solas, Cole. I'm not sure I can help you"  
"You can. I know its a lot to ask, but could I come with you? I can earn my keep and I can still use my knives as good as ever"  
  
From that day on, we travel together. I'm still missing my child, but having a friend helps me. Especially as Dorian proves to be a magnet for trouble, so I often have to protect him. It helps we are used to fighting together, I haven't made myself forget that. Dorian still wants to help Tevinter change, but he starts to question the Inquisition loudly as well. It hurts us both to say that, because the Inquisition used to be a force for good. Nobody knew its leader was such a monster.  
  
It is by accident that we meet my son. He is with one of the scouts, playing cheerfully. He seem so happy, I have to hide and I feel my dinner coming up. Of course he looks like me, too. Dorian manages to get the scout tell that the Inquisitor thinks I returned to the Fade or became a demon. Though, as Dorian reminds me once we are far enough, it could be a trap. But I feel better, I know my son is safe and well now. I feel strangely calm as well, like I had found some sort of closure for myself. I can let go of that part of my life. But other things hold me down now, Dorian's quest and the man himself.  He's a drunk, and trouble, but I still love him. As a friend or a lover. I don't care.   
He does not hurt me, bind me or force me. I choose to be with him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read it this far, grats!
> 
> This fic was an idea I've had in my head for a while. Of how easily an Inquisitor could use Cole since he can't read them, and what would a really morally twisted one do to him.


End file.
